Broken Blades
by Temari-Desert-Storm
Summary: 100 Themes #8. Innocence and #35. Hold My Hand. Guilt weighting him down, Sora tries to hide his failure from his best friend, but nothing escapes the eyes of a child...
1. Chapter 1

_Basically, I wanted to write something with the younger characters, but I really needed to work on writing Sora and Kairi, so this came out. I think I've been spending too much time on the TVTropes Kingdom Hearts Fanfic Reccomendation page, and that inspired this too._

* * *

8. Innocence

* * *

Broken Blades

* * *

"I spy with my little eye something that is… green."

"Hmm… That one over there."

"That one?"

"No, not that one. That one, right there."

"Ah, that one… You're right, that was it."

"But Kairi… why are we playing 'I Spy'… in space? There's nothing out there."

Kairi looked down at her small companion with a smile. "You're right about that. Is there anything else you'd like to do?" They sat in front one of the larger of the Gummi Ship's windows, the vast expanse of stars stretched out before them.

He met her eyes and tilted his head in thought. "Where's Sora?"

"He's busy," she answered, trying to hide the apprehension in her voice, "Why? Do you need him for something?"

"No. Just wondering… I'm kinda tired."

She hoisted him up out of his seated position and placed him on his feet before picking herself up. "Alright then, Riku. Let's get you to bed."

* * *

Sora sat in the cockpit of the ship, staring out into the space ahead of him as he steered. He focused, letting his mind go blank, not because he needed to concentrate, but because he didn't want to let his mind wander to other things. The stars, each representing a different far-off world, shined in the infinite darkness. Behind him, the door opened and Kairi walked in, taking a seat beside him. He switched to autopilot and smiled at her. "How are things?"

"Good. Nothing bad has happened yet, so I think we're in the clear for now."

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "And… how is he?"

"In bed. He said he was tired, so… Sora?"

"Hmm?"

"Does he… I mean… well, when he looks at me, I get this uneasy feeling. I don't think it's having to do with _that_, but… it's creepy."

"I know what you're talking about. I keep forgetting that he grew out of it before you came. Riku… always had this way of looking at people. It always made him look like he knew more than he actually did."

"And is that why you won't see him?" she asked, leaning back in her seat.

"Yeah. I keep thinking that he actually does know. I'm afraid that he knows about _it_ and he's just not telling. If I look at him, it'll just make me feel worse. I don't want him to hate me. That's what I'm really afraid of."

Kairi placed a hand on his shoulder. "He won't hate you. I know he won't, and you know Riku better than I do. I don't want to sound insulting, but you're worrying about it too much."

"I can't help it. I feel like I failed him. I go around calling myself the 'Keyblade Master', protector of world order and defender of the defenseless… and I can't even help my best friend…" Ashamed, he turned his head back to the controls, looking out at the stars.

"He wants to see you," she muttered after what seemed like hours of awkward silence.

"He does?"

"He repeatedly asks me where you are. I keep telling him you're busy and he brushes it off, but I can feel it. Everything about him, his entire presence, just seems to deflate. He's hurting, Sora, because you won't see him. He thinks you hate him."

Sora was suddenly on his feet. "I'd never hate him! I just…"

"You're running away from him. He's just a little kid. He just can't understand why his best friend suddenly wants nothing to do with him."

"I do want to see him… I do, but…"

"There are no buts, Sora," Kairi sighed. "Either you see him or not. I know you're still in pain; I am too. But running from it isn't the answer. He would say the same thing."

Sitting down again, Sora stared out of the window, feeling even more ashamed of himself than before. He was already upset with himself, and now Kairi was upset with him, too. The empty space ahead of them suddenly felt so confined and oppressive.

"I'm going to check on him," Kairi announced, getting out of her chair. The door closed again, leaving Sora with only his thoughts.

* * *

Kairi entered the room without a sound, resisting her reflex to turn on the light. The only thing in the room was a large bed, and it dwarfed its occupant, making him look even smaller than he was. He was curled up under the blankets, shrinking him even more. Strands of Riku's short hair had slipped onto his face, disturbed slightly by his shallow breathing. The déjà vu struck her instantly, picturing the morning two weeks before when she had last come in to find her friend sleeping, his adult body taking up the majority of the space. She internally wished she could go back in time and stop that self from waking him on that morning, but she knew there was no way to go back. 'It's strange, seeing him like this. Riku always seemed to be so strong. Seeing him like this… he looks so fragile…' Another mental image flashed through her head, but she shook it from her head before it could set in. Walking to the window, she stared outside, concentrating on anything other than her memories.

"Kairi?"

Startled, Kairi jumped, spinning around. Riku was sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes. Carefully, she sat down on the bed. "I'm sorry. You startled me. I wasn't expecting you to wake up," she explained quietly. "Need something?"

He shook his head. "Is Sora mad at me?"

"No. Why you think that?"

"Because… he looked sad. He looked like he wanted to cry, but he didn't. I don't like it when Sora looks like that. He doesn't look like Sora that way."

"Sora's not sad. He's… he's just going through a rough spot right now."  
"Is that why he's avoiding me?"

Kairi cringed. "He's not avoiding you."

"Then why won't he see me? I did something to upset him, didn't I?"

"Not at all. Sora… he's the one that he's upset with. He's worried that you're mad at him."

Riku gave her a questioning stare, sitting in silence. "Can I see him?"

"I'll try and convince him. Just stay here, okay?"

* * *

By the time she returned to the cockpit, Sora was beginning to doze off, his eyelids drooping down over his blank gaze. She dropped herself into the chair next to him and he startled awake, looking at her curiously.

"Sora, he wants to see you."

He frowned. "I know. You told me before."

"No. I mean, he wants to see you. Right now."

"Right now?"

"Yes. Sora, you need to see him."

"I…" he trailed off in thought, "I'm not ready. I can't face him. Not like this."

Kairi sighed. "That's why you need to see him. He can tell that you're upset. He thinks it's his fault. He hates seeing you upset, and he's sure that he did something to upset you. He thinks that's why you're avoiding him."

"I'm not… You're right. I am avoiding him."

"Then stop. You're not the kind of person to run away. I've seen you stand tall in the face of things much bigger than this."

He smiled slightly. "And I fall apart the moment something happens to either of you. You guys are my biggest weakness."

"I'm trying to say that, Sora. You keep saying that you failed Riku, that it's your fault, but you keep forgetting one thing: _he volunteered for it_."

"And I should have stopped him! We knew how dangerous it was going to be, that something horrible might happen! I knew it and I didn't do anything!" His grip on the armrests tightened. "I don't want to face him because it should have been me! I should have gone! If I had, everything would have turned out fine and none of this searching and worry would have been necessary!"

Kairi was on her feet. "How do you know that? How do you know that for sure? Something could have happened to you, and what then? What do you think we'd be doing? Riku made his decision because he was looking out for you, because he cares! And now you're turning your back on him!"

"_This is different_!"

"_No it's not_!"

"_Fine_!" Sora shouted, turning on his heel, "_I'll go_!" He stormed out, leaving Kairi behind him. She slumped down into her chair and closed her eyes.

* * *

Sora's anger had died out by the time he reached Riku's room and his knees began shaking. 'Why, oh why did I agree to do this?' he mentally reprimanded himself. 'I can't do this. I can't, I can't, I can't…' Knowing there was no turning back once he opened the door, he did just that and entered.

Riku was sitting on the bed, his feet swinging back and forth. When Sora entered, he looked up and a smile crept on to his face. "You came."

"Yeah," he muttered, trying to keep the nervousness from his voice. "I thought you were sleeping."

"I was, but I felt bad. I wanted to know why you're upset."

"I'm not."

Riku chuckled. "You've always been a horrible liar, Sora. I can always tell when you're lying because I can tell that your heart isn't in it."  
"Sorry…"

"Don't be. We're best friends. You don't have to apologize for anything."

Sora's breath caught in his throat and he fought back a wave of hopelessness, knowing that if he let it win, he'd break down crying. "Sorry… Ah…"

"I just want to make sure you're okay," he said, letting out a huge yawn on the last word.

"You should be sleeping. It's way too late for you to be up."

"How do you know? Everything outside the window looks the same."

The two shared a laugh before Sora felt the hopelessness fighting back. 'He's always been like this. He always will be. That just makes it harder to take.' "Kairi said you wanted to see me."

"Yeah… Sora, are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because… you look sad, in a certain way. You always look like that when I do something to upset you."

"It's… hard to explain. Actually, it's my fault. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself."

"But it's related to me."

Sora opened his mouth to reply before he realized that it wasn't a question. "Yeah. It's my fault."

"It's not. You take too much on yourself," Riku muttered, yawning again.

"You need to sleep. Come on."

"You won't leave yet, right? You still haven't told me what happened."

Sora sighed, exasperated. "Now isn't a good time. I'll tell you in the morning. But," he added hastily at his friend's sad expression, "I'll stay. At least until you fall asleep."

Riku yawned again and curled up under the sheets. "It's not fair," he mumbled, his eyelids drooping. "I finally get to talk to you, and I'm too tired to do anything."

"Sorry."

"No… apologizing…"

Riku fell into a deep sleep, and Sora joined him not long after.

* * *

"_It's not going to be easy. Someone has to go with Kairi to shut down the system on this end, and someone else has to go shut it down on the other end. The rest of us will stay here and keep both sides defended. We can't risk sending any more than that."_

_Crouched behind a battered and crumbling wall, King Mickey outlined the plan. Sora crouched between him and Kairi, Riku on the King's other side. The other members of their circle were the members of the formerly-named 'Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee', Cloud included. All of them sported scrapes and cuts off all kinds, but no one wanted to waste time on it._

'_If we can get those machines to stop, we can finish this off without any problems,' Sora mused. "I'll go with Kairi. They probably know that only Kairi can shut down that system, so they'll probably put their strongest forces there."_

_The King nodded. "And the other one? It'll probably be heavily guarded, as well. We can only spare one person, so…" He didn't need to continue. In all likelihood, anyone who went there might never come back._

_Sora opened his mouth, knowing that it would be a better idea for him to go on the solo mission, but Riku was faster. "I'll go. I know enough about the system to shut it down quickly, and I can handle anything they throw at me."_

"_If you're sure," the King muttered, his worry evident. "Then, we'll break. The rest of us will cover you three until you get inside. From there on in, you're on your own."_

"_Right!"_

_Before they dispersed, Sora stopped his friend. "Are you sure about this? I mean, I could go…"_

"_I'm sure. Besides, you have to look after Kairi. She'll be safest with you. I'll see you soon, Sora."_

* * *

Sora jerked awake, breathing heavily as his heart pounded in his chest. 'Just a dream… no, a memory. The memory of my failure.' He stood up from where he had been seated on the floor and, finding Riku still fast asleep, crept out of the room. Before he went to check on Kairi, he went back to his own room. He hadn't entered the room for two weeks, leaving a thick layer of dust covering everything. Sitting on the bed, right where he had left it, was _Way to the Dawn_, forming its own dent in the otherwise flat bed sheet. Picking it up, he felt it unfamiliar weight in his hands and headed back to the cockpit.

Kairi was already awake, staring out into space. "I checked the coordinates," she announced as he entered, not turning around to greet him, "We're still on course."

"Good," he answered, dropping himself into his seat.

Kairi looked over at him, instantly noticing the Keyblade in his hands. "Something bothering you?"

"I'm not going to run anymore. I've decided that I'm walking forward." He gripped the Keyblade tighter. "I'm sure that's what I should be doing. And I'm going to do it. So, no, nothing's bothering me. Not anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

_This (if you're reading it) is for you, reviewer Flightfoot: You always leave such good questions in your comments, but I _can never answer them _because _you're not logged in_. Anyway, there might be a third part, if anyone wants me to finish it._

* * *

35. Hold My Hand

* * *

Broken Blades, Part 2

* * *

The cockpit door opened and Riku walked in, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Sora adjusted himself in his seat, knowing that he had to talk about what happened, but not yet mentally prepared for it. Kairi ushered the boy over to her and he gratefully took a seat on her lap.

"Morning," he mumbled, stretching his arms carefully so as not to hit Kairi by accident.

Kairi affectionately ruffled his hair. "Sleep well?"

He nodded, finally turning his eyes to Sora. "Morning."

"Morning," he replied, feeling his mouth run dry.

"Are you still going to tell me? About what happened?"

Kairi raised an eyebrow at this and Sora smiled sheepishly in response. "Yeah, I'll tell you. I promised, didn't I?" He cleared his throat, leaning back in the pilot's seat.

"About two weeks ago, we got word from the King – King Mickey – that someone was performing some experiments on some Heartless and Nobodies, fusing them with machines to make them stronger… and to control them." He could see the questions in Riku's eyes and realized that his miniature friend probably didn't remember anything about their previous journeys and enemies. 'I'll explain it to him later. He looks like he's more interested in what happened than the minor details.' "It was an incredibly twisted thing to do, so we went to stop him. Some of our friends came with us. When we got there, we were quickly outnumbered and overpowered. We discovered that they were being controlled by a wireless system, but there was no way to interrupt the signal, so the only option was to disable the system. The system was divided between two locations. One of them could only be shut down by Kairi, so I went with her…"

"And I went to the other one," Riku added, earning their stares. "Well, the other me."

Kairi tilted her head. "The 'other you'?"

"I've had this idea, and it's a thought, but there's more than one me. What I mean to say is, the Sora sitting across from me is much older than I am. But Sora is younger than me, right? So, there must be another me that is one year older than this Sora."

Sora smiled. "Typical Riku. Always planning out the most logical answer."

"Of course, since you never think at all," Riku retorted, laughing. "So, what happened?"

"Well…"

_

* * *

_

Sora braced himself against the door, fighting against the creatures as they pounded away, trying to break into the room. His feet kept slipping on the slick tile floor, making it hard to fight back. He was tempted to open the door and toss a magical fireball out there, hoping to mow some of the creatures down, but he knew they would break through if he shifted his weight away for even a second.

"_Kairi! Finished yet?" he yelled, his shoulder thumping against the door as he pushed, knowing it would be bruised by the end of the day._

_Kairi's reply came from around the corner, just out of his line of sight. "Yeah, almost!"_

_Within minutes, she was at his side, pushing against the door with him. The creatures didn't relent, even for a second._

_Sora groaned, feeling his muscles slowly beginning to cramp. "What's taking so long?"_

_As if on cue, the banging on the door stopped and a loud clanging noise filled the air, again and again like a perpetual echo. After they waited a while, making sure it wasn't just their imagination, they relaxed their grip on the door and opened it. All of the creatures were piled lifelessly on the floor, prompting Sora to nudge a couple with his feet to make sure they weren't faking it._

_Kairi didn't waste a second. She scrambled out and grabbed Sora's hand. "Let's get going. I've got a bad feeling about this."_

_Back the entrance, everyone was collecting themselves. Aerith was healing Cloud's injuries as he leaned up again the wall, the one they had used as a shield not long before. Yuffie was dancing around, gloating over their fallen foes when, from the look on Leon's face, she was supposed to be helping clear a path through them. Cid was talking with the King, discussing something quietly and hurriedly, though they broke off when they noticed Sora and Kairi's return._

"_Good to see that you're okay," the King smiled, jumping down from the rock he hand been standing on._

_Sora looked around. "Where's Riku?"_

"_We were going to give him some time to get back, and Cid and I were discussing whether we should start looking for him when you get back."_

_They agreed to do that and everyone regrouped. The second hallway was exactly like the first; the same twisting corridor lined with the collapsed, immobile creatures. Something, however, was off. At the end of the end of the hallway, the door was open, though none of the creatures spilled into the room, and the inside was awash with red light._

_As they got closer, Sora realized with a turn of his stomach that the red sheen wasn't caused by a light._

_The entire room was coated in splattered blood… and totally empty._

_Kairi and Aerith shivered and averted their eyes. Cid shook his head, eyes closed. Cloud turned away. Leon cringed. Yuffie ran partway into the hall and hurled. The King joined Sora in wide-eyed horror._

'_There's no way anyone could survive something like this… and Riku's not here…' The thought struck him like a brick wall. 'No one could survive…'_

_He scanned the room, looking for some sign that his friend had escaped, but there was nothing. Something caught his eye on one of the walls and he quickly made his way there, ignoring the fact that his shoes slipped with every step. The thing embedded in the wall, on closer inspection, was Riku's Keyblade, coated thoroughly in blood. The sight of it made him want to join Yuffie in the hallway, but he fought back the revulsion and dislodged it, cleaning it off on his shirt._

_Kairi came up and joined him. "Sora?"_

"_It should have been me," he muttered, "I should have been the one that came here. This should have been me."_

"_But…"_

"_Why? Why Riku? Why does everything bad always happen to him, and why am I always powerless to help him?" Sora slammed his fist against the wall. "Why?"_

* * *

Riku, hearing the end of the story, closed his eyes, deep in thought. Kairi was sitting back in her chair, looking at Sora, who had his head down.

"And then what?" Riku asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

"We spent some time trying to figure out what was going on, and then a few days ago, we heard some rumors that led us to find you."

"And where are we going now?"

Kairi smiled. "To see Master Yen Sid at his tower. He might know something that will help us figure out what happened with you."

"And with the other me. And why I don't know a lot of things."

"What do you mean?" Sora asked, "What don't you know? I can tell some of the things, but you haven't really told us what you know and what you don't."

Riku folded his arms. "I don't remember much of anything. The whole situation you explained… I don't remember that. I don't remember anything that happened before that. …And Kairi. I'm sorry, but I don't remember you," he explained, giving her a sad smile.

"You don't? But then, how do you know my name? I never told you."

He shrugged. "I don't know. It's… a feeling. I feel like I know you, and it's that feeling that told me. I don't know how I know, but I do. Maybe it has to do with the other me?"

"Well, maybe Yen Sid will know something," Sora mumbled, standing up to stretch.

"What's that?" Riku asked. Sora followed his eyes until he noticed that he was still holding Riku's Keyblade. "It's… it belongs to the other me, doesn't it?"

Sora felt his heart sink in his chest. "Yeah, it does." 'It is his, technically. I guess I should give it to him.' Stepping over, he held out _Way to the Dawn_ for Riku to take. The boy did, but it disappeared in a flash of light and reappeared in Sora's hand. "Huh?"

"I'm guessing wasn't supposed to do that?" Riku asked, as startled as Sora.

Kairi shook her head. "Another thing we'll have to ask about."

* * *

When they arrived, Master Yen Sid went straight to business, visually inspecting Riku from his seat behind the desk. Riku seemed to be doing his best to stay calm, but the more time went on, the more Sora sensed that he was scared. He wanted to do something to comfort him, but he didn't want to interrupt the old Master.

Finally, Yen Sid sat back in his chair with a sigh. "Has anything else happened recently? I know only of what the King has informed me."

Sora gave Kairi a quick glance before he answered. "Riku says he is missing a lot of memories… actually, it's more of not knowing people and things he should know. And, I tried giving him this," he held up Riku's Keyblade, "but it came right back to me."

"This is a curious matter. Memories… are hard to examine, and anything relating to the Keyblade is all a matter of memory."

"Why is that?" Kairi asked politely.

"The ability to wield a Keyblade is passed down from a Master to someone with a strong heart. In order for this action to yield consequences, the action must exist in a moment of time, both for the Master and the chosen."

Sora's mind spun in circles. "Huh?"

"He means that to wield a Keyblade, there's an action involved, and since actions take time, it should exist as a memory. So, I must not have that memory, since I can't wield it."

"Ah. Makes more sense. But then… why not?"

Yen Sid let out a deep sigh. "Then, I will not know without deeper inspection. For that, I will require your assistance, Riku."

"Mine?" the little boy blinked, "Uh…" He looked up to Sora for assurance.

"It's fine. You can trust him."

Though his brows furrowed, not exactly believing that statement, Riku agreed. Yen Sid beckoned him over and he trotted around the side of the desk. Sora and Kairi followed, having lost sight of him behind the tall table, and watched.

Yen Sid placed one hand on Riku's head, making the little boy cringe, his wand in the other. Carefully, his tapped his hand with the wand, the magic flowing into his palm and onto Riku's head. At first, nothing seemed to happen, but Riku's face began to scrunch up and he started shaking, looking like he was fighting some immense pain. Sora wanted to step in and stop it, but Kairi, sensing his intentions, gently held him back.

When Yen Sid removed his hand and the magic faded, Riku gasped for air and grabbed Sora's free hand, holding on as much as he could. Kairi crouched down by his side and pulled him into a light hug, but his grip on Sora's hand never lessened.

Though he was annoyed by Yen Sid's actions, Sora kept his calm. "Did you find out anything at all?"

Before the Master could reply, the door opened and the King entered. He quickly bowed to his Master. "I'm sorry to interrupt."

"Mickey?" Riku looked over Kairi's arm, seemingly cheered up by the King's presence.

Kairi glanced between them. "You remember him?" she asked Riku.

He shook his head. "No. It's like with you. It's a feeling that I should, and knowing that I should, but nothing more than that."

At the mouse king's confused expression, they quickly brought him up to speed. When they finished, he closed his eyes in thought. "That is strange…"

"Have you remembered anything, Riku?" Yen Sid asked, though he already seemed to know the answer to that question.

Riku flinched. "It's… a castle."

"A castle?" Sora crouched down, still holding the boy's hand. "What kind of castle?"

"A… a big brown one… with green towers. Th-the hallways were… really white." He closed his eyes in concentration, his brow furrowed, but it apparently yielded nothing.

The King mulled over the information before he looked up. "It's Castle Oblivion."

"Castle Oblivion?" Sora had heard the place mentioned before, but knew nothing beyond the fact that it wasn't a pleasant place.

"That's a pretty accurate description of it. A castle with white hallways. You're sure?"

Riku nodded. "A castle… in the middle of nowhere."

"It can't be anywhere else."

Yen Sid folded his arms across his chest, his hands hidden in his long sleeves. "That corroborates with my findings as well, though it brings up more questions than it answers."

"How so?" Kairi asked. "What did you discover?"

"Despite what you believe, this is not Riku; only a creation of his memories."

Everyone else in the room descended into varying states of shock. Sora managed to recover first. "What does that mean?"

"The reason why this Riku cannot wield the Keyblade is because he was not created with those memories. He is a memory construct of the real Riku. In other words, a fragment of his memories separated from the rest of him. He only carries Riku's memories up until a certain point, but because he still bears a connection to the real Riku, he knows people and places that he has not the memories of."

The King didn't look any more pleased with the notion, but he was still rational enough to think things through. "That would mean… Riku is still alive."

"Yes, that is what it would indicate."

"But," Sora muttered, his mind grasping at whatever random straws of questions it could find, "all that blood…"

"You've made the assumption that it all came from one person. From one person, it would be fatal, but it would not be for two or more. Significant injuries from more than one party would be enough to create that scene."

Kairi spoke up, holding the stunned younger Riku close. "Then, we can find him?"

"It is very important that you do. The longer his memories remain separated from him, the harder it will be for him to retrieve them. If too much time passes, they may never be able to return."

"But where do we look?" Sora asked.

"The castle," Riku answered, speaking in a depressed voice. "Castle Oblivion. That's where he is… the other me."

"You're sure?"

"I can feel him there. He's been calling me. I didn't know what it was before now, so I didn't mention."

Sora tightened his grip on Riku's hand, crouching down to the boy's level. "It'll be fine. Whether you're all of him or only part, you're still my friend. We'll fix this, I swear."


End file.
